My mother means everything to me.
I can remember when I was younger and that was not the case. She drove me crazy from around 14-19. No reason other than she was my mom.
After that I started realizing how important she was to me.
She was with me in my crazy, partying years. She was with me when I started to grow up a little bit when I met my husband. She was with me when we had our children. She helped me through those years in a huge way! One thing we did do was we would take one day a week for just us. We would go shopping and out to lunch. Just to talk, me and her. No one else.
Then 12 years ago we moved to Green Bay. We had the phone and could talk frequently that way. I would go back to Syracuse to visit, and still do, a couple of times a year. Mom and Dad ended up going into assisted living. Sold their home. Time changes things doesn’t it? Now when I go back home I stay at a hotel or my brothers home. Mom and Dad stay in their room at the assisted living place. No more holidays in a home where memories linger. Kind of weird I have to say. No more on that topic.
Up to now. My mom is 85 soon to be 86 on June 23rd. I had to go back home in February as she ended up in the hospital. I was very worried about her so flew back home. We spent a few days chatting in her hospital room. I have some issues I needed to discuss with her. Very important issues. One of which was my son Kyle is now my daughter Lily. This was a very difficult topic to discuss, not just with my mom but with anyone. My mother has always been ahead of her time. She accepted all people for as many years as I have known her. I knew she was not prejudice against any race. Gay was in her vocabulary way before it was in ours. She just accepts people for who they are no matter what. But to tell her that her grandchild, that she came to the hospital and was in the room when he was born was transgender. That was way above and beyond anything I thought she could deal with. Well, I was wrong. She listened to me and listened to me and listened to me. She does not quite understand but she does accept this and loves her grandchild and always will. THAT is my mom.
In February I had to go to Syracuse to visit her. Something I realized during that visit was that a woman is a woman whether she is 20 or 85. We were getting ready to be discharged. My mom got dressed and fixed her hair. One of the things she asked me if she should continue to color her hair or go grey. I said to do what she wanted but continuing coloring her hair is what I would do! ( I may get old but I will get old with a fight!!) She also had some lipstick that she put on. With that lipstick she used it as a blush on her cheeks to give her color. (Maybe a little too much color.) All the same she looked beautiful. She asked me if she had too much blush on her cheeks. ( She knew.) I just blended it in and it was fine. She looked fabulous. Isn’t it funny, no matter how old we are, we still care about the way we look. I now know why I like blush and lip color. I got that from my mom!
Since I came back home I talk to mom on a regular basis as always. Her hearing on the phone isn’t too great but we try. Tonight I called her to check in. In our conversation she said she really missed me and wished I was home. I don’t think in all the years I have been gone she has ever said that to me. I mean, I know she misses me but she never has said that in the way she said that today. I miss her too!
The one thing I realize about my mom is that there is absolutely no one out there, anywhere that knows me the way she does. She is the only one. I know I am very lucky to have her here with me now. I also know there is absolutely no one who will every understand me the way she does.
You know, you grow up hoping you don’t become your mother. I can only hope to be somewhat like her. Accepting, thoughtful, an awesome listener, more love for her children than anyone I know, huge respect and love for her husband, with a touch of sarcasm and attitude. What more could you ask for?
This is an early Mother’s Day thought.
I love you more than anything, Mom!! Thank you for being YOU!